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Comparing Your Skin Is Scientifically Flawed (and What to Focus on Instead)
There’s this quiet habit so many of us fall into.We look in the mirror, or scroll through pictures online, and find ourselves sizing up our own faces against others.
Maybe it's a flicker of envy for someone’s smooth, seemingly line-free forehead, a snatched jawline or a pang of regret about a choice we wish we'd made differently, maybe years ago.
You’re not alone. It happens to all of us. A sense that your skin’s somehow fallen behind, or that there is something wrong with it simply because it’s changing and ageing.
It feels almost automatic, doesn't it?
I often catch myself doing exactly that without realising – even when I can very clearly see it is someone who has had some aesthetic treatments or injectables, I still do it.
But let’s be honest for a moment.
This habit of comparing your skin to someone else’s?
It’s not just unfair, unhelpful and unkind to you – it's also completely flawed, both scientifically and practically.
Why? Because your skin didn’t get to where it is today by following someone else’s script. It got here by doing exactly what it was designed to do – carry you through your life.
So instead of chasing someone else’s reflection (which isn’t always truthful), I want to offer a different lens.
The reason why I’m writing this blog is not just how aware I am of my own skin all the time, because I’m constantly testing our formulations (so I’m scrutinising my face more than what is healthy) – but it was a conversation I had recently with a gorgeous 23-year-old woman, with a face full of bouncy collagen who is feeling the weight and pressure of going down the injectables route already.
As I was listening to her and I could feel my heart aching for what she was telling me and how unsure she was feeling of herself, I was aware that even in that moment, I was momentarily comparing my 49-year-old, lived-in face with hers – and then catching myself and remembering that my face was also quite bouncy at 23!
At some point, we need to realise that despite the fact that the biological processes in our bodies and how everything works are all the same (that’s straightforward science and biology), it doesn’t mean that it all manifests in the same way and at the same time for all of us.
So I had a good think about all of this, and below I want to share with you ten reasons why your skin’s story is uniquely yours, and not available for the comparison games we play in our own minds.
1. Your Genetics: The Blueprint You Didn’t Choose (But Can Work With)
We all start life with a genetic template that shapes the thickness of our dermis, the distribution of collagen fibres, our propensity for pigmentation, and even how quickly we lose volume. Some skin types naturally produce more sebum and are better lubricated over time; others are genetically prone to dryness or reactivity.
This doesn't mean your genes dictate your destiny, far from it. But it does mean that comparing your skin to someone with a fundamentally different biological blueprint is like judging an oak tree for not looking like a palm.
The point isn’t to wish away what you were born with – it’s just not possible – but we can learn how to care for it the same way we would with anything precious and irreplaceable. Because you are.
2. The Rhythm of Hormonal Ageing
Hormonal shifts are one of the most profound forces acting on your skin, from the time you’re a teenager, right through the decades, and they’re never the same between two women.
We may share many similar experiences along the way, but no two women have the same hormonal journey.
From perimenopause to menopause to post-menopause, the decline in oestrogen has a ripple effect: slower cell turnover, thinner skin, more pronounced creases, and a collapse in collagen density.
While we all go through it, some women experience this shift suddenly and intensely. Others notice a slow, almost imperceptible change.
You cannot speed up or slow down another woman’s hormonal timeline.
What you can do is tune into your own: learning, adapting, and choosing skincare that supports your skin’s resilience, health and comfort through every phase.
3. Lifestyle Imprints: Your Choices, Your Consequences, Your Compassion
Every decision you’ve ever made – what you ate, how you moved, when you rested, whether you smoked, how much time you spent in the sun – has left a cumulative imprint.
This is neither judgement nor regret; it’s simple biology.
A diet high in processed foods and low in antioxidants contributes to glycation and inflammation, damaging collagen and elastin.
Chronic stress raises cortisol, weakening the skin barrier. Decades of unprotected sun exposure accelerate pigmentation and fine lines.
But if this, or a version of it is the sum of your life experience, it’s not a failure. It’s evidence of a life fully lived.
What matters now is not comparing your past to someone else’s with a completely different set of life experiences and choices, but focusing on what you can influence now: nourishing your skin with better choices today where you can.
4. Environmental Exposures and Daily Battles
Another case in point – not all skin ages in the same environment.
You might have spent years in an office with fluorescent lighting and air conditioning, or decades working outdoors in wind, salt air, and pollution.
I grew up in South Africa and lived under the gorgeous African sun until I moved to England when I was 23. I am very sure that living in the UK for the next 26 years or so protected my skin to some extent, just because there wasn’t as much strong, incidental sun all the time – even though I didn’t start using sunscreens seriously until I was about 40. If I spent those 26 years in stronger, harsher sun environments and just being outside, I'm quite sure I would have a different skin story now.
And then we moved to Dubai recently, where the temperature today is 46 °C, with the UV Index at extreme levels basically every day.
I simply can’t be outside in the heat, so it’s a 24/7 aircon situation, which most definitely has been impacting my skin – and my hair. I have to adapt to that.
This is just one small snippet out of my life / skin story and I’m sure you have many of your own.
Every day, your skin negotiates oxidative stress from UV radiation and blue light, free radicals from pollution particles, heat, cold - what ever you may be exposed to.
Not to mention seasons of grief, illness, high levels of stress, not sleeping well and all the different things that can take their toll on us.
This is why protective skincare like antioxidants, replenishing lipids, and robust sunscreen isn’t optional.
It’s the science-backed way to slow cumulative damage, whatever your starting point.
5. Your Unique Expressions and Structure – Our Faces All Crinkle Differently
One of the most beautiful parts of skin ageing is the way it captures your life’s experiences and expressions – it is for me anyway – and I love seeing older women embracing that in themselves.
I can only hope to follow that example, but I struggle sometimes, I must admit.
Your laugh lines are evidence of many happy moments and memories.
The softness around your eyes a record of every squint in the sun or smile at someone you love, or maybe the tears you cried along the way.
Your underlying bone structure, fat and muscle distribution will always be uniquely yours.
When we stop wishing to look like someone else, we gain the freedom to care for what we do have – supporting firmness, elasticity, and hydration without erasing the proof we’ve lived.
6. Aesthetic Treatments: Private Choices, Honesty and Context
When you see an image – whether it’s on Instagram or in a magazine – you rarely know what interventions are part of the picture being presented.
Injectables, resurfacing lasers, energy-based devices, surgical lifts – these are personal choices. And while it’s everyone’s own prerogative and there is zero judgement about any of it from me, it’s important to know that people aren’t always honest about what they’ve had done.
Especially when they claim to use some sort of miracle skincare only, when it’s very clearly not the case.
Comparing your untreated or minimally treated skin to someone who’s invested hundreds and thousands in tweakments is an exercise in futility and self-punishment. plain and simple.
It also dismisses your values – perhaps you’ve chosen to prioritise different goals, or to take a more conservative path.
Your choice deserves respect, not comparison.
Also - you can change your mind at any time about any of it.
7. Skincare & Routine Histories: Decades in the Making
Some of us have practised meticulous, science-led skincare since our twenties (not me, I must say – I was obsessed with skincare, but I didn’t really understand what I was doing – plus the no sunscreen thing).
Others only discovered, or are discovering now in their 40s and 50s, the importance of barrier repair, retinoids and antioxidants much later, perhaps after a health crisis or emotional upheaval caused them to start prioritising themselves in a different way.
Your skincare history is neither a liability nor an excuse.
It simply is.
What matters is what you do with the knowledge you have now: building a consistent routine that meets you exactly where you are and what your skin needs now.
8. Sensitivities: Your Skin’s Unique Language
Your skin has a voice – sometimes subtle, sometimes loud.
It may react to fragrance, certain preservatives, or even popular actives like retinoids or exfoliating acids – even when it was totally fine with certain ingredients before.
Comparing your results to someone who tolerates everything without redness or discomfort is a distortion. Not every product and ingredient works for everybody.
The goal is not to keep up with someone else’s “progress,” or routine, but to build tolerance safely – or find safe alternatives. There is always a plan to be made.
9. Your Routine: It Has to Work for You and Your Life
An elaborate 10-step routine may look impressive, but if it doesn’t suit your budget, schedule, or temperament, it’s not sustainable.
Skin thrives on consistency far more than complexity. Your routine should support you and fit into your life – not the other way round.
If you only have time for cleansing, moisturising, and sunscreen most days, that’s perfectly fine. If you choose the right products you can still give your skin what it needs and get good results.
If you love layering serums, essences and more – that’s equally valid as long as you know what you’re doing and your skin responds well without being sensitised.
What matters is doing something you can sustain – and can I say it – actually enjoy.
10. Beyond Pigment, Texture and Tone
You are not defined by your pigmentation, the size of your pores, or the softening of your jawline.
Your worth will never be measured in millimetres of depth or degrees of smoothness.
Your skin simply tells the story of you.
At Ané Skincare, I’m working to create every formulation and every piece of guidance to meet you here – in a place of honest reflection and clear next steps so you can feel confident in caring for your skin for decades to come.
For the woman you are today.
Not to promise you someone else’s skin, but to help you strengthen, protect, and care for your own.
If you take nothing else from this, remember:
The comparison was never fair in the first place.
You are not behind. And your skin, in all its evolving complexity, with every passing year, is worthy of your care exactly as it is.
Today.
